Big Flat Beers

So I think I probably complained here about all my big beers being flat in the bottles. Just to recap, there's Big Slick - an 8.5% ABV IIPA which has been flat for a while, after having a higher than expected terminal gravity. Then there's Dorée Forte, an 11.3% ABV Duvel Clone (I know, it is a LOT higher ABV than Duvel - just had super high efficiency in a step mash). Finally GSX-R 1.104, a Double version of the Fat Tire clone recipe, clocking in at 10.0% ABV.

Well they've all been sitting there for like two months (or actually maybe more like 6 weeks) but it seems like two years! Normally my brews take like a week to carb, so I was stressin.

Yesterday I finally took care of it (or at least tried to). I had a packet of Nottingham. I rehydrated it with about 4 oz. of water (per directions on the package) and dilligently distributed about 1/4 tsp to each bottle of all three batches of flat beers. Amazingly, some of the Big Slick actually hissed and fizzed when I opened them. Then they really bubbled up when I dropped a quarter teaspoon of yeast into them. So anyway I am hoping that approximately 0.10 grams of yeast per bottle will be enough to at least have some carbonation in them, and also that I didn't mess up sanitation and contaminate every beer.

By the way, in case it wasn't obvious, I opened every beer in the three batches (which was 95 beers, since I have kept trying beers from each batch to see if they're carbed), then I added 1/4 tsp yeast/water mix to the bottle, and recapped it. You think bottling 5 gallons is tedious, forget it. Try doing 100 bottles of beer at once. I just kept thinking "100 bottles of beer on the wall, take one down, add it some yeast, 99 bottles of beer that are flat".

In case anyone reads this, please pray for my beers that they may carb up and be enjoyable to anyone other than me (I have gotten quite used to drinking them flat and even warm - I like to think of them as very very weak scotch).